Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Last Post

Well, this is my last post. I've been back in the U.S. for about a week and a half, and still miss everything about China. Since I hate wrapping things up in a cliched fashion, I'll just include my essay that I was required to write about CET and how they helped me to "realize my goals." It's more on the academic side, but interesting nonetheless. Thank you all for reading and adventuring along with me for the past few months, I really appreciate you taking out a few minutes from your day to listen to my antics in China. 

~Kevin


Summarizing the eight weeks of a life-changing trip to China is nearly impossible -- in English. Speak to me in Chinese, however, and you’ll realize exactly how much my Chinese skills have improved. While most travelers to China spend a couple weeks flitting in and out of popular and overcrowded tourist destinations, some choose to enrich their historical knowledge and cultural understanding, and others devote their days to mastering new Chinese grammar and qvocabulary. As a CET student, I had the opportunity for all three at once. 

My one goal in China was to dramatically increase my Chinese language skills, which is exactly why I selected CET. After spending just one week at the surprisingly comfortable BIE campus, I could feel my listening comprehension skills improving considerably. And after three weeks, I noticed amazing progress in both my speaking efficiency, tonal accuracy, and grammar/vocabulary usage. With each passing day, the effort I had to put into thinking about and phrasing sentences in Chinese gradually decreased, and by the end of only eight short weeks, I was able express myself almost perfectly with relatively no trouble.

How did such a remarkable improvement come about? Allow me to take you through an average day at CET. After waking up at the fairly early hour of 7 am, you head off to the building next door for four hours of intense but highly entertaining Chinese language courses. The first two hours consists of meeting in “Big Class,” where you participate in dictation exercises and learn all of the new grammar and vocabulary for the day. During the last two hours, we split into “Small Classes” where another teacher would drill you on the materials you just learned. Sometimes we would even watch classic Chinese films relevant to the day’s lesson, or use our new words by singing along to Chinese pop music. I still remember the lyrics to all of the karaoke songs we belted out with our teachers.

After class, we would all head over to the CET cafeteria together, and enjoy a tasty and free lunch together with our teachers. If you wanted to sit with the teachers and discuss the day’s lesson or their likes/dislikes about China, you could. If you felt like planning a weekend trip with your classmates, you could. Don’t forget, every conversation must, and did, take place in Chinese, and nothing but. Once finished eating, we would each attend individual 1-on-1 sessions with our teachers, where we had the unique opportunity to spend 30 minutes discussing either the lesson material or a topic of our choice. These short gatherings quickly became many students’ favorite part of CET, and personally I would’ve skipped three full meals for the opportunity to have another 1-on-1 session. To wrap up the day, I would spend a few hours finishing up my homework, and quickly preview the next day’s lesson. At night, we would go out on the town with our roommates and fellow classmates, where Chinese is a must, since most roommates thankfully cannot speak English. 

By now, the motif of CET is clearly obvious: from learning new material in the classroom to practicing with your teachers at lunch, from working alongside fellow classmates to chatting with Chinese roommates, repetition is key. While so much repetition might seem boring and tedious, the variety of methods makes it seem as if you’re not even practicing the language, but simply “living” it. After a few weeks of this pattern, I felt as if using new grammar and vocabulary wasn’t even a conscious decision, it just flowed naturally, mixed in among my other speaking patterns. Before I knew it, using Chinese became so natural that practicing the day’s lesson wasn’t so much of a chore as it was a fun pastime.

Between the language pledge, the non-English-speaking roommates and teachers, the Chinese-only lectures, the very low student to teacher ratio, and the multitude of language levels custom-tailored to each student, it’s obvious that no other institution has the unique structure and learning possibilities. While such language learning opportunities are enough to admire the program’s qualities, the real value of CET lies outside of the classroom. With such small classes, and every student living in the same building, developing close friendships with your classmates is inevitable. I formed closer friendships in two weeks at CET than I have back home in a full semester. The weekend trips/activities further cemented these relationships; nothing builds a friendship like being stuck on a 17-hour train together in the heart of China’s countryside. In 20 years, my memories of China might be faded and fuzzy, but the strongest and clearest ones will stand out -- the ones of the friends I made at CET, friendships that will last a lifetime.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

From Qingdao to Dallas - Without Sleep

When I just arrived in Dallas, the last 47 consecutive hours of my life had been travel, starting with the 12-hour bus from Qingdao back to Beijing, then directly to the airport for my hours of travel back to the U.S., finally ending with a comparatively short leg back to Dallas. As I blankly stared out of the airplane window on my last leg of this hellacious two-day travel ordeal, I was struck with a strange feeling, being back in the United States. Before I went to China, I thought that only having two months there wasn't going to do anything. Now I’ve realized just how long two months can be. Don't get me wrong, I loved every moment of it (okay, some parts were less good than others). All of a sudden I don't have to actively listen just to understand things, I don't have to spend a full minute reading a sign, and I don't even get to hear Chinese being spoken anymore. It's all over, so quickly. 
That's how I felt about a few of my fellow CET classmates, the ones I became close friends with. For two months, you spend five hours everyday in a classroom together, and then even more time doing stuff on weekends, and then one day, you realize you'll probably never see each other again. It's just a humbling feeling, to realize how quickly and easily a friendship you cherish can be ended. And I know that some of you will say that's why Facebook and Skype exist. True, but no amount of online chatting could ever amount to aimlessly wandering the streets of China together. 
Anyway, my experiences in China will be impossible to forget, which is stating the obvious. What's less obvious is the effect that observing Chinese culture and daily life has had on my views of foreigners and all other human beings in general. I never expected to fully and truly understand why people so badly thirst for the opportunity to come to America. Sure, everyone realizes that the American standard of living is comparatively higher, but until I saw some things that literally made me stop and feel guilty for having even the clothes on my back, I didn't fully understand the perils of these people's lifestyles. I'm going to refrain from specific examples, because it's just one of those things that any amount of complex phrasing I could use will never, ever do it justice. 
I’m also not going to attempt to describe my overall opinion of China, or do any kind of wrap-up. I’m far too lazy, plus I believe that sort of thing is unnecessary. What I will do is publish my final essay that I must write for CET about how the trip affected me, so I think that will do just fine. Now, for my last week. 
After arriving in Qingdao at 5:30 am last Wednesday morning, I headed to my hostel to try and sleep for a few hours before meeting my class. Unfortunately, at 6 am every single old person and middle-aged person woke up, started jogging, and resumed a construction project next door. Also, the room lacked air-conditioning. So I just headed out to the beach, where I met up with my classmates for breakfast. We spent most of the day on the beaches, which are absolutely beautiful with decently clear water, so we went swimming too. Being the only foreigners on the beach, we attracted plenty of attention. Then in the mid-afternoon we went for a fresh seafood lunch, which gave us a little surprise the next weekend. But the seafood for dinner was amazing, just delicious and not too expensive. Then we headed out to “Beer Street” to find the beer festival, since Qingdao is the city where Tsingtao beer is produced (the pronunciation is the same, just the westernized spelling differs). After failing to find more than restaurants that served beer, we ended up searching for clubs with live music. The one we ended up at had a highly-talented band of 6 asians that covered everything from Queen to Chinese pop -- and did so pretty well. 
The next morning, after waking up at 6 am yet again, I promptly threw up most of the seafood we had the previous day for lunch. So instead of heading back to beach, I spent four hours of my morning half-conscious on the floor of my friends’ hostel. Thankfully, I felt better by noon, so my friend that wasn’t throwing up and I headed to the Qingdao beer museum, and got some souvenirs before I had to head to the bus station for my 12-hour trip back to Beijing. After saying our tearful goodbyes, I boarded the bus and began my 50 hours of travel experience. Despite all the travel and food poisoning, being in Qingdao was one of the most fun times I’ve had in China, and I can’t wait to go back there, or really anywhere else in a country with 5000+ years of history.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

A Chinese Lifestyle: Pros and Cons



As my last week here in China comes to a close, I think the time has come to publish a list of likes and dislikes that I've been compiling for quite some time. At least from here on out, I won't have school work to worry about. Last week was our final written test and oral test. No problem at all. I'm heading up to Qingdao via an 8-hour bus to see the sights with some friends, and then back to the States on Friday. Enjoy!


Things I Like About China: 


  1. the weather. It hasn't been too hot yet, and it doesn't rain too much (in Beijing)
  2. the food, of course.
  3. the people. There are so few fat people here, and most people are reasonably attractive, so I don't have to worry about losing my lunch just by watching passersby. 
  4. the lack of rules. no enforceable drinking age, no open container law, no frilly, stupid rules about drinking, smoking, clubbing, or anything fun. 
  5. the prices. finally, the price is right. everywhere. 
  6. the shopping. opportunities galore, buy this for under $1, but that for under $3. hell, i'll take it all
  7. the beautiful landscapes and scenery
  8. being white allows you to essentially do anything you want
  9. being white, again. when I speak to Chinese people (in Chinese), they are immediately very interested in me, and also very polite about helping me converse.


Things I Don't Like About China


  1. the lack of rules. yes, i realize this is in both categories. it's freakin' dangerous, no traffic laws are enforced.
  2. the noise. CONSTANT @#$% horns. people use the horn so often, it's not even a warning anymore. it's just a notification, such as "Honk. I exist."
  3. cash only. credit cards are rarely accepted, and I hate carrying around so much cash.
  4. non-potable water. every time i just want a quick sip of water, I have to go find my special bottled water so I don't end up with some form of botulism. just a minor inconvenience….
  5. the toilet paper situation. you usually can't flush it, you have to wipe and then stash it in an undoubtedly disgusting trash can right next to the toilet. Also, absolutely no one (save the fanciest hotels) stocks toilet paper in the bathroom; it's your responsibility to bring it with you everywhere you go. 
  6. men, usually fat, sometimes practically anorexic, love to lift up their shirts like it's some kind of summer beach party. it's ubiquitous, and pretty gross if you pass some guy with a nice ol' beer belly (this somewhat refutes #3 in the top section)
  7. the air quality. I play basketball for 10 minutes outside, and subsequently feel as if I just smoked a pack of cigarettes.
  8. CAR HORNS AGAIN! OMFG SO OBNOXIOUS
  9. transportation. sometimes, I'll get a taxi right away, sometimes they're non-existent. and sometimes I get stuck on a 17-hour train ride after already enduring a 13-hour delay. 
  10. normal daytime hours. everyone starts everything at 6-7am, which I am no fan of. this means they close by 8 or 9, before I even get a chance to finish my work for the day. society works too early here.
  11. KIWIS THAT MAKE ME VOMIT


If you have anything to add, or disagree with, post a comment and we can have a healthy one-sided discussion. 

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Only Two Weeks Left

I am definitely sad to have less than two weeks left in China. I really cannot express how I would love to stay here much longer, but at the same time come back home to the American lifestyle. Thankfully, classes are about to end, so I'll finally have some free time to just wander around the city. Yesterday we had an in-class debate about whether or not preserving China's traditions and cultural relics slowed economic development. However, due my speech (described below), I was simply the debate's moderator. But it's better than our usual double tests on Fridays.  

The past week or so I focused a lot of time and effort on a speech that I must memorize for a Beijing city-wide foreign students speech competition. Unfortunately, since the competition is tomorrow morning at 7 am, I'm not able to go out tonight, I'm sitting here "memorizing my speech." My speech is 4-5 minutes long, the written version is approximately 700 characters, and is judged on tonal naturalness, grammar usage, and accuracy of pronunciation. While I personally don't care about it, since I'm representing my teachers and all of CET, I figure I'll try a bit harder than usual, even though I didn't get a say in choosing whether or not I wanted to compete. While it's "an honor" to be chosen, I don't like spending my limited time in China memorizing stuff in my dorm. 

Even though I was spending a lot of time on my speech, I did get a chance to make it to Tiantan (Temple of Heaven), and the Olympic Park, featuring the Bird's Nest and the Watercube, which you all probably saw on television in '08. We also stopped by Beijing University, the most prestigious university in China, to see the campus and library, but it wasn't too impressive.

Man at Tiantan playing a type of mouth organ, 
sounded like a flawless synthesizer

Bird's Nest

Water Cube

Giant Olympic Tower

Tonight CET held a "China Night" performance, where each class performed a short skit to demonstrate our new Chinese skills. Our class's skit was about the bad habits that Beijingers have, and was actually quite amusing. We showed how Beijing people don't like to line up, be polite, and in general show consideration for others. And of course, me and my newly-befriended taxi driver singing a rousing chorus of the cheesiest Chinese pop song I know.

Instead of describing our actual skit, I'll simply leave you with my thoughts of China, the pros and cons of Beijing life in my next post.



Sunday, August 1, 2010

Terra Cotta Soldiers - 兵马俑

While in Xi'an, one must venture to the legendary Terra Cotta Soldiers (兵马俑). Discovered in 1974, this incredible archaeological site boasts three massive "pits" filled with ornately sculpted clay warriors. The most impressive fact is that Emperor Qin demanded each warrior be individually sculpted, so that no two were alike. Therefore, they started building this "mausoleum" for him when he was only 13 years of age. I'll spare you the other historical details, since you probably already know a bit about it. If not, read more about it here.



Pit 1, the most impressive collection of all.
Housed in a massive airplane hangar, it takes
nearly 30 minutes just to walk around it. 


The width of Pit 1


Close-up in Pit 1


"Famous" row of horses. If you look close,
the left-most horse is missing his tail. 
While visiting this site, President Clinton "patted" 
the horse's tail, and knocked it clean off.


Pit 2. The remains of another army, but 
this one was ransacked by thieves centuries ago.


One of the better-preserved soldiers.


The world's two largest fully-functional marionettes
.... why not? ....


In addition to the Terra Cotta Soldiers, we visited several other places within Xi'an, essentially a bunch of museums. One of my favorite non-museum places in Xi'an was the China-Muslim Mosque, which combined with the early dawn dew and the misty weather produced a surprisingly peaceful getaway. 


Not the best weather for walking, 
but very zen-like. 


The courtyard of the Mosque

But the fun didn't end with the sights and weather of Xi'an. (oh, I forgot to mention that it rained nonstop for the 70 or so hours we were there.) Story time! At 6:30pm on Saturday night, we arrived at the Xi'an train station for our 7:30 pm train to Beijing. We soon discovered that our train had been delayed for 6 hours, destined to leave at 1:30 am because of severe flooding along the tracks. So, what exactly are 90 students supposed to do for 6 hours? Sit at the train station? To pass the time, I busted out my Xun (a small pot-shaped ocarina), and started playing right in the middle of the train station. Thankfully, CET spent only 15 minutes conceiving a great plan, where we went to another super luxurious hotel and hung out, 5 people to a room, until the train was supposed to leave. 


So by 1 am, we had expected to leave the hotel, but my group still hadn't heard anything from CET. Starting to get a little worried, we went to go find the teachers, who told us the train had been further delayed, and that we could get some sleep. Finally feeling like something was going our way, we brushed our teeth and headed to sleep. BAM. Literally 4 minutes after I laid down, a teacher slams on our door and tells us to haul ass to the train station, because our train is leaving in 30 minutes! 


Five minutes later, we're all bookin' it to the train station, and after we arrive at 2:30 am, we get some more unpleasant news. The departure time is now 3:30 am. Groaning, tired and frustrated, we sat down stood in the train station waiting for another hour. And then at 3:30 am, we hear an announcement in fuzzy Chinese come across the PA system. Guess what? 4:30 am departure. Super. 



At 4:55 am we FINALLY boarded the damn train, and everyone passed out in their beds. Surprisingly, I slept pretty decently, for about 7 hours. At about half-past noon on Sunday, I wake up, sit up, and promptly smack the @#$% out of my head on the train ceiling, bringing me sharply back to reality. I then was informed that we had only traveled 1/5 of the "11-hour" train ride. In 7 hours. 

In the end, we made it back to Beijing 16 hours later than expected, and still had to wake up for 8 am class the next day. I almost always love being here in China, but sometimes, I just want to beat trains with a golf club.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Xi'an, Why Are You So Far Away?


         AND WHY THE @#$% ARE WE ARRIVING AT 5:20 AM?!?! 

If you know me, you know that I don't operate before the hours of ... morning. Let's rewind a bit... last Thursday, July 22, we departed for Xi'an at about 3 pm, and after an 11-hour train ride, arrived at 5 am earrrrrrrrrly Friday morning (yes, I know the math doesn't add up, there was other travel in the mix). Thankfully we had "beds" (planks of wood with sheets on top), so I slept about 5 hours. 



At this point, CET decided to play a little game. This game turned out to be a 12-hour scavenger hunt, which started like this. "Okay, I hope you enjoyed the train ride, see you at the hotel!" And just left us there. So after 30 minutes of scrambling around to find a taxi-driver that actually knew where our hotel was, we got to the hotel by 6:15 am ... only to get more fun games from CET. The scavenger hunt mandated that we go to 5 different historic places around the city, all before 6 pm. Then we could turn in our answers to various questions, for the chance to win 400-650 RMB for our team. Our team consisted of 5 people: me, my roommate, and three other students, one of whom was fluent in Chinese. So, at the very least, we had 2 fluent speakers of Chinese, and absolutely zero knowledge of Xi'an. (if you also have no knowledge of Xi'an, read this!)

The first place we went to was the Chinese-Muslim district, where they had some of the strangest foods I had ever seen. We had to sample three types of food, and we chose to sample burnt rice topped with black dates, a delicious fried bun filled with syrup, and a mutton soup that numbed your entire mouth (had a spice called 麻, sorry, I don't know the English, although all the dictionaries call it Hemp.... lol). Following this, we went to Starbucks and had a real breakfast, we were all half-dead from exhaustion. 

at least it was a kick-ass Starbucks...

We spent the rest of the day traveling to museums and historic sites. I'm going to condense this into a few pictures, since most of the places we went weren't super interesting, unless you love museums. (some of these pictures span two days)

We stayed in the most luxurious hotel I've ever seen.
This picture doesn't fully do it justice


We went to the city walls, which extend as far
as the eye can see. In ancient times, the walls
were 7.5 times longer than they are today ... wow.


And they had cannons, which I promptly rode...
to the great displeasure of the security attendants.


From there, we moved on to a Buddhist museum.


The actual Confucian analects tablets. 
This was kind of humbling to see.
(at a separate museum)


Ancient seals (name engravings) at another museum
These were 4000+ years old, preserved underground.


Underground remnants of pottery and such. 
By far the coolest museum, as the museum 
itself was physically located underground.

Most of this occurred during the scavenger hunt, but a few of the museum shots were from museums we went to after visiting the legendary Terra Cotta Soldiers (my next post). 


Finally, the WORLD'S BEST ENGRISH.
the back of a condom wrapper in our hotel.

More Than Enough Kevins in Beijing

On July 20th, another one of my good high school friends, Kevin Watford, came in to hang out and experience Beijing. Yep, the same Kevin I went to visit about 6 weeks in Shanghai. Sadly, I had quite a busy week, and we only got to hang out a few times. Tuesday night, after I finished all my work, we headed to the famous shopping district of Wangfujing to check out the goods. 

Wangfujing is one of those places that embodies the typical juxtaposition of new, luxurious China, and the absolute shit that is the older Chinese hutongs (dirty, back alleys). But, for me, the best part of China is seeing these hutongs, where all kinds of dirty business goes down. Bargaining is a must, which is a talent of mine, since I love yelling at people in Chinese, and am relatively stubborn. They also had Chuanr (串) of every kind, which is basically meat, fruit, veggies, or (apparently) insects skewered on a stick and grilled or boiled. Here, the specialty was cockroaches, or LIVE scorpions on a stick. By live, I mean that they were still moving, and you picked one and watched as they slapped live insects on a grill. Sadly, I don't have photos, but here's someone else's photos.

The next day, Wednesday, we headed out to Summer Palace (颐和园), which is what it sounds like, the place where the emperor would take his "summer vacation." And what a vacation home. We spent about five hours here just walking around, then hiked up to the very top to see a breathtaking view of nearly all of Beijing and KunMing Lake. Pictures to follow.

Entrance Plaque: Yi He Yuan

An ornate gate, serving essentially no real purpose



Where else can you get hundreds of slaves to 
decorate the underside of your roof?


Kevin Watford's dad pointed out this:
each stone was placed by hand into the sidewalk. 
There's got to be over a mile of this ornate sidewalk,
with flowers and other designs inlaid into the pavement.
I guess when you have unlimited free Chinese slave labor,
anything's possible!


The summer palace is bordered by the beautiful KunMing Lake


Then we climbed to the very top


On the way, a woman was doing the typical 
over-priced "write your name in some Asian style"


In addition to some Buddhist temples, 
the very top had some incredible views


including the lake, where you can apparently rent 
paddle boats or take a ride on this dragon-boat thing


After heading to Summer Palace, I had to return home to study for my test. Then on Thursday, we only had time to get lunch, because CET was taking us on a three-day trip to Xi'an. Xi'an was quite a trip, more on that next time. 

Friday, July 16, 2010

Zoo+Houhai+Cole

Cole, a good friend from high school happened to venture into Beijing this past week, so I showed him the unique parts of Beijing that his family's tour wasn't going to cover. Okay, well, some of them, we didn't have much time. Turns out the most interesting pictures come from the Beijing Zoo, which is utterly massive, and an area of Beijing known as Houhai, which is a gorgeous lake area in the daytime and a crazy bar scene at night. And of course, we went to a couple traditional Beijing restaurants, but kinda ran out of time to do much of anything else, since my school schedule plus his ridiculous tour schedule did not workout well. Now his family and the tour group are in Xi'an for a few days, then off to so many other places; the tour sounds amazing. 


This morning we had midterms, which covered 763 new words (yes, we counted), 14 lessons worth of grammar, and a 10 minute speech. Luckily, it sounds worse than it actually was. Now that it's over, I can relax for... 1 day. But next week another one of my good friends from high school, Kevin Watford, who I visited in Shanghai a few weeks ago, is coming up to Beijing with his father to explore the city. And yes, it is crazy awesome that two of my friends randomly decided to pop over to China at the same time, considering that we all scheduled our respective trips separately. 


Tonight we're headed to Laoshe Chaguan, a play called Tea House written by a famous Chinese author called.... Laoshe. Not only is it a traditional Chinese performance, but we also get served traditional snacks and teas, which I'm excited about. I'm sure pictures will be forbidden again, just like the Chinese Acrobatics, so you'll have to live with some pandas for now. 


the zoo had better scenery than the "scenic spots"


ridiculous rhino collection... there were 6 huge ones


where else can you PET zebras


and of course the treasured, priceless, and 
mind-boggingly boring great panda.
as shown here, wasting my time.


the beautiful sights of Houhai


some guy was doing calligraphy with water 
and a brush the size of a baseball bat

each bar has these eclectic couches outside, 
but nothing can beat a Michael Jackson theme

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The Gate of Heavenly Peace?

Since I hadn't yet had an opportunity to fully explore Tiananmen Square, I decided to accompany 5 other girls to the square last Friday. I later regretted this decision after some sort of whiny-bitch-fight broke out amongst two of them. Ladies, I thought we were past this after we graduated from high school. The rest of the time was spent awkwardly talking to a group of three of them, or the other group of two. 

Aside from this unfortunate scenario, Tiananmen is quite the sight. I might have had more time to enjoy it if I hadn't been dragged into to innumerable pictures with Chinese tourists, which I have painstakingly recounted for you below.
(华: is the average Chinese tourist, M: is me)

In English:
       华: Hi, width me kin you hit a pitchers? 
       M: Oh, you want picture? (cue overly-flamboyant hand motion miming picture-taking)
       华: Yah! Picture, ok, I give friend hit pitcher.
Picture taken.
In Chinese:
       M: 照片好不好看?由于我们在,所以这张照片一定很漂亮,对不对?
             (How's the picture look? Since we're in it, it's absolutely beautiful, right?)
       华: 你会说中文吧?
             (You can speak Chinese?)
       M: 再见!
             (Bye!)

It's always fun to mess with a fellow tourist. Enough chit-chat.... enjoy some photos. 


the square spans a massive area,
right across from the forbidden city


there were two massive screens on either side
of the big pointy monument


the big pointy monument (back side)
Monument to the People's Heroes (?)


the formidable volunteer security force
2nd from left in the right-most line, staring me down
last guy: fail. 


statue by the Maosoleum (tee-hee)


a big awesome-looking museum.
we went there later, but was incredibly boring.



Wednesday, July 7, 2010

The Mighty Great Wall

The actual Wall wasn't the only absolutely massive thing about this trip. Someone (some idiot) in the administrative ranks of my program thought that "the only way to truly see the Great Wall is to hike up to it." 

Great idea, I thought, until I stepped out of the bus and realized it was about 104 degrees. Oh, no problem, I survived marching band out in 110 degree heat for 4-5 hours, so I can do this. Alright, let's start the hike by winding our way through a mile of uphill pavement, surrounded by crazed old chinese ladies yelling (this works best if you scream it in the worst imaginable fob accent) "HELLO HELLO BEER WATER ICE DRINK" followed by a rousing chorus of "BUY SOH-VEEN-EE-RAY" (souvenir ... i think). Just what I wanted to hear before I'd even eaten breakfast. 

Alright awesome, no more pavement, just a nice dusty tr --- oh what the @$#% are all these stairs.... alright, one at a time.... 600+ times.... alright, we're almost th ---- OMG WTF still not even halfway there. So, after about 70 minutes of climbing stairs (i had to stop a few times to prevent myself from falling over / throwing up), we finally made it to the top. Also, these were not standard size stairs. Some of the steps were taller than my knees, nearly 2 feet high, so it was more akin to rock climbing than stairs. Before I show you the benefits of enduring that ordeal, i need to say this: 
whoever had this idea needs to have a large tarp wrapped around his/her face, and consequently subjected to crossing the largest street in the midst of Beijing traffic. 
However, Mao Zedong once said: "He who has not climbed the Great Wall is not a true man." In fact, there is a stone at the top of some part of the Great Wall with this quote inscribed upon it, called the "Real Man's Stone." (lol) That only slightly makes me feel better...


Of course the Wall itself was amazingly awesome, but what I really enjoyed was the gorgeous landscapes into which the ancient Chinese interwove this massive structure. The mountains were so great, the forests so lush, that I found myself wondering how an enemy army could even navigate through the land, let alone a ridiculously large wall.


we went to the less-touristy Mutianyu portion of the Great Wall
the big characters in the right column say Mutianyu Great Wall


the landscape was gorgeous. 
mountains extending in all directions, 
as far as the eye can see


Characters written during Mao Zedong's rule
It reads: "Believe in Chairman Mao"
....they simply cannot stay away from the propaganda.... 


the Wall is beautifully intertwined with the mountains


special feature: randomly placed cannons


big tower at the top of the mountain
more stairs....

We ventured to and fro atop the Wall's stoney peaks, ate lunch (one popsicle, w00t), and then descended via an extremely sketchy-looking ski-lift-type chair. And right before the chair lift, lay this glorious little gem, just waiting to be mocked:

ENGRISH: #6, the second #3, #4 == lol
Later, I tried to explain to my teacher what pubic sanitation was.